Tag Archives: Writing

The Writer and the Liminal State

I began my trip to Israel on a Thursday morning. After an easy two-hour shuttle ride to the airport, I checked my bag, breezed through security, and walked straight to the gate.  

Flight delayed…Flight cancelled.  Delta Help Desk handed me a coupon for a hotel that night and rerouted me on next day’s flight to Charlotte NC and from Charlotte to JFK, where I could catch the late-night flight to Tel Aviv.  

Alone for a month before the trip, I had been working hard to finish the third book of my Leah Contarini Mystery Series. During that month, I was at the computer every day, excepting an hour’s walk through the luscious cold of a Bear River Range winter and the hour it took me to shovel the daily snowfall from our driveway and sidewalks.

My work was done. I had been given a hotel room; I had a flight. I had no heavy luggage to wrangle.  I began to feel lighter. The weight of the previous month’s tension and tight muscles caused by the intense work of finishing the manuscript had dissipated and seemed inconsequential. I left the airport for the hotel feeling light and free. Free to let my mind roam. 

      The following morning, waiting outside in the crisp air for the shuttle back to the airport, I met a woman. She was an Hispanic woman from Miami, dressed in chic clothing. Her hair and makeup were professionally done, her glasses chosen to enhance her fine face, and she wore discreet gold on both wrists.  We were standing near each other at the top of the steps, staring out at the snow-covered mountains, when she turned to me and said, “This is the first time I’ve ever seen snow.” 

Since I was accustomed – winter after winter – to shoveling so much snow it made 6-foot walls down each side of our driveway, her words astounded me. Someone who had never seen snow!

I know of course that there are millions of people in the world who have never seen snow. But it had been a long time since I spoke with someone who was seeing it for the first time, and there was something in the way she was looking at the mountains that I couldn’t immediately identify. The significance of snow appeared to mean more to her than just the new experience of seeing it. 

I asked if she were moving to the West.  She hesitated, and as I waited for her response, I watched her face. She was worried. 

It turned out she was a semi-truck driver. Her usual route was Miami, Texas, Southern California, and back again, but she’d been reassigned. She was on her way to Montana where she would be driving a semi along a northern route, through the mountainous West. I let the thought sit. She had never seen and had never driven in snow.  She had left behind a world she knew and was on the way to a job, a potentially dangerous job. I felt a sudden protective sense toward her and wished I knew more about the sort of courage she possessed to take on that job.

I couldn’t have articulated it at the moment, but I had entered a liminal world. Like the people around me in the airport and on the plane, I had left but had not yet arrived.

A liminal world, simply put, is the place (physical, emotional, metaphorical) a person is during a transitional period. You are “inbetween”. If you’re an adolescent, you’re no longer a child, but you’re not yet an adult; if you’re a bride or a groom, you’re no longer single, but you’re not quite married.  If you’re an immigrant at a citizenship ceremony, you’re no longer an alien, but you’re not quite a citizen. 

It was with that woman’s story that I began to feel how all of us headed for the airport were in a liminal state. I thought of Chaucer. As travelers, all of us on our way to the airport and in the airport were in at the least, the liminal state of a traveler.  We were on the move: moving from airport to plane to airport to plane: situation left vs. situation anticipated. I’d left my American home and was going to my Israeli home. I was gone and yet not arrived.  I had entered this liminal space by leaving a life in the American West and flying toward my very different life in Israel. 

Neither home nor home, hiatus:  not writing, no more orientation by my mountain surroundings and friends, and no more concerns, except basic physical necessities.  All I needed to do was float through the airport or sit on a plane and listen to other people in the same state. We were the modern version of Chaucer’s Canterberry Tales.  I was filled with the excitement of what I would discover in this liminal state.

What I discovered as I moved through the 2 ½ days of the trip were stories: love stories, stories of fear, stories of tragic loss; stories of divorce and reconciliation, stories of food, stories of yearning, stories of freedom children told by running and shouting in the airline hallways; stories about diets, stories about a beauty salon, stories about living in Jerusalem, stories about terrible illness, stories of a loved-one’s death. 

I was floating through the world made small, with a motley crew, all of us existing between what was and what was to come. I listened to their stories; I told mine. I wanted to hear any story any one wanted to tell, and if I hadn’t yet articulated it, I now know that I was being offered a gift any writer desires:  stories laden with new understanding of what makes us human. 

We’re all homo narrans, shaping our lives as we travel.   

Forthcoming in Leah Contarini Mystery Series

Coming May 23, 2023: If Two of Them Are Dead, second of the Leah Contarini Mysteries, by Libi Siporin. The now-widowed Leah Contarini returns to the Tuscan village of Scansansiano and finds her beloved community beset with bizarre events. Shamus Award winner Greg Stout, author of Lost Little Girl and The Gone Man, writes Siporin’s work is: “…first, a murder mystery, second, a paean to the Tuscan region, its customs, culture, …and residents, all of which are richly drawn…. A far cry from the usual noir-ish streets of New York or Los Angeles.” Stout’s words hold true; Siporin writes more than murder.

My Thanks

This month I want to express a big “Thank You” to the community of people who stand behind all writers. From the beginning of any writing project this includes those:

who help set up a Web Page and other online venues
who maintain those sites;
readers who give time, attention, and thoughtful criticisms to rough drafts (and I mean often really rough drafts);
editors who accept our work and spend hours nourishing it, trusting it; improving it
reviewers who speak publicly about our books, encouraging readers to buy and read
readers who buy our work, who take the time to listen to our stories

My personal thanks on the Leah Contarini Mystery Series goes to:
Sabine Barcatta
Shanna Siporin
Dov & Lev Siporin
Steve Siporin
Mary Sharp
Steve Sharp
Carol McNamara
Greg Stout
Mark Levenson
Laura Fisher
Level Best Books:
Harriette Sackler
Shawn Reilly Simmons
Verena Rose

Writing and Walking in Tuscany

Photos from my recent nine-mile walk to a neighboring village and back. These Etruscan trails are the same as those beloved by Leah, protagonist of my Leah Contarini Mysteries Series of Italian mysteries from Level Best Books. The first book in the series, Bitter Maremma is available now from Amazon, Barnes and Noble, etc; the second book, Death Will Find You, will be out this fall; and the third book, tentatively titled Precarious Refuge, will appear in 2023.  

From a review of Bitter Maremma:

Author Siporin’s novel works on a couple of different levels, first, as a murder mystery—and a very good one at that—and second, as a paean to the Tuscan region, its customs, culture and its colorful residents, all of which are richly drawn by the author. A far cry from the usual noir-ish streets of New York or Los Angeles, Bitter Maremma is a highly entertaining read, one that I most certainly recommend.

–Gregory Stout, author of Lost Little GirlGideon’s Ghost, and Finalist in Best First PI Novel category, 2022 Shamus Awards.

Another Thought on Asking Questions

Last month I wrote a blog about the value of questions.  After I posted that blog I remembered a story on the same topic – a story I carry with me and think about every day.

There was a young married man who spent his day studying the holy books. As time passed, he became increasingly agitated. His reading led him to a question: What is the meaning of life? He couldn’t let go of the question. “What is the meaning of life? What is the meaning of life” he mumbled throughout the day. His wife became exasperated, “Go, ask the neighbors!” 

So the man went into the courtyard, calling out the question, stopping the passers-by. They brushed him off.  “What is the meaning of life? What is the meaning of life?”

The wife and the neighbors decided to take him to the rabbi in a neighboring town.

The rabbi invited the young man to sit in the chair across from him. “Now, young man, what’s wrong?”

“I have to know, Rabbi, What is the meaning of life?”

The rabbi stood, walked around his desk, raised his arm, and slapped the young man across the face.

Shocked, the young man jerked backward.

The rabbi said, “Why would you want to exchange a perfectly good question for an answer?

It is answers that divide us; it is the questions that bring us together.”

Reading the Cartographer

It’s only two months until the launch of the first book in my new Tuscan mystery series. With the second book done, I’m deep into the third book and at the same time, trying to keep up with the necessities of production/marketing on the first book.

Maintaining this balance between marketing and writing fiction leaves me discombobulated. (One of my favorite words for being confused and disconcerted – still, knowing the definition of the word doesn’t change how I feel!)  

Anyway, by late afternoon, I’m knackered, and I find escape from both marketing and mystery by reading a motley array of books that seem unrelated to writing mysteries, but aren’t.     

The Making of a Poem: A Norton Anthology of Poetic Forms by Mark Strand and Eavan Boland

A Mapmaker’s Dream: The Meditations of Fra Mauro, Cartographer to the Court of Venice by James Cowan

Afghanistan: A Short History of Its People and Politics by Martin Ewans

Reading these books and others, I’ve learned that there isn’t any book unrelated to my writing. Everything I read becomes entwined, one way or another, with my characters, with plot or landscape, with my understanding of human behavior.

Fra Mauro. I never thought to read about a Renaissance cartographer. I am writing a series of mysteries set in Venice, but I bought the Mauro book on a whim. How could Fra Mauro, enigmatic Renaissance monk and cartographer who stayed in his cell and reaped knowledge from visiting merchants and adventurers, contribute to a mystery set in modern Venice?  Reading the book, I discovered that Fra Mauro was not just recording information to make a physical map. As he says in his notebooks: “The things [the merchants and adventurers] had observed were phenomena only; what I attempted to inscribe onto my map was the transformation of their observations into that uncluttered grace we find in all living relationships.” How could a writer of any genre not appreciate the summons to fulfill the idea of finding the “uncluttered grace…in all living relationships?

Studying poetic forms in The Making of a Poem and trying to write a villanelle or a pantoum is a demanding exercise in the use of language and form. Using Strand and Boland’s book, I’ve turned creating different poetic forms into a weekly challenge and am gratified to find how effort instructs me in keeping my language tight, precise.

Afghanistan has been in the news recently and by coincidence, I lived in Afghanistan for a year and a half. When I inadvertently came across Ewans’ book I bought it, not sure when I would read it. But I am reading it, and through this scholar’s work am firmly reminded that personal experience never provides the full picture of a place or of a people. We travel, we live elsewhere for a while, we know some things first hand. But there is always more to learn, more to make one amazed, more understanding to destroy stereotypes, always new perspectives on culture, always some thunderbolt detail that makes you wonder how you missed such important wisdom.  

Victor Hugo said, “… to read is to light a fire, every syllable that is spelled out is a spark.” 

For me, this is particularly true about serendipitous reading: I surprise myself with a study of rain, expand my understanding of what it means to be a woman by reading a book on the courageous, intelligent women of the Bible, and give myself a fruitful invite with a layman’s book on astrophysics (From which, too my surprise, I conceived a poem that was later published.)

I know that details can add up to knowledge but perhaps not to wisdom. Still, reading in myriad directions outside usual channels ignites my mind, hands me some new tools for awe, and nudges me toward understanding the lived-experience under the facts.

The People Who Write My Books

Before I started writing books, I believed a person simply sat at their desk, wrote a book, sent it to a publisher, and the book was either accepted or rejected. 

Said and done. 

Now I know better, and I’m feeling particularly thankful to the people unknown and known who have had a hand in creating the books I’ve been writing

Unknown?  Yes. 

Like the 8-year-old water carrier I crossed paths with on a street in Mazar-i-Sharif, Afghanistan, who supported a family of 7 by his work. He’s a boy I can’t forget, who I’ve transformed in my writing into an Italian boy with a different life but some of the same gutsy behavior.

Then there’s the Pashtun man who drove me to Kandahar and who, in the middle of deserted land, began yelling his anger at Americans. He becomes a violent character in another book, and I learned how to write a new kind of fear. 

Or my fellow travelers on top of a load of peanuts traveling south from Niger to Lagos, Nigeria. These strangers showed me ways to create joy in the midst of exhaustion, adding another aspect of behavior and personality to my fictional characters.

And there’s the woman in a Utah store dressed to the hilt but with the face of sad experience, who become a murder victim in my imagined story.

And the man standing on the cliff near Cascais, looking out over the ocean, as if he were remembering the days of Portugal’s reign of the seas. This man I never knew became for me a lesson in yearning, a fictional character recounting his history in the prologue of one of my books. 

Then there are the people I know or knew at one time:

There’s the woman I cared for when I worked as a nurse’s aide in a hospital, a woman deformed by rheumatoid arthritis, for whom every slight movement was excruciating. This woman, frozen in a fetal position, greeted her little five-year-old daughter with a smile as the little one bounced on the hospital bed to hug and kiss her. How do I understand this real woman’s courage and fortitude?  What is courage? Who of my characters are this courageous?  A fictional woman crippled, not physically but emotionally, finds her courage not in a hospital bed, but in one of her own worst challenges. 

There’s the lover I knew whose girlfriend left him. I can’t forget his sad eyes, the way pain settled on him. And I asked, “What particular way do my female characters hurt others?”  A lovely, but cruel woman is created in fiction. 

There’s the boy with a roomful of toys no one was allowed to touch, a boy who grew up to sell playground equipment, as if he refused to leave his childhood. What is the past of my new character? Is it this? What is my character holding onto? 

And there’s the fellow college student who drank himself to death in his 30s.  He becomes a character lost too soon to the people who love him, and this unravels a thread of loss throughout a fictional story. 

There are the parents who restrained their son so strictly he went crazy, and through my imagination my fictional character ends up a murderer driven by rage at his imprisonment. 

This is the mix and match way an author takes parts of strangers or people known, loved or disliked: a color of eyes here, a certain smile there, a tendency to cruel comments, or impetuous generosity; a characteristic of petty lies, a secret life below the community life.  I see physical and behavioral traits that as a writer I can then mix like puzzle pieces and put together to create a wholly new character who is real only in my imagination. The character is no one and yet many.

Thus the book is finished in draft form, but now come the readers — patient, generous friends who agree to read the book and care enough to give direct, truthful criticism. Why not move this chapter here? This character isn’t realistic enough, would he really fall in love so readily after a break up? Too graphic in this scene. Be more subtle. I love your description of the landscape. More action at the beginning….

These comments send the writer back to the computer, to rewrite, to improve. 

Done?  No.

Let’s suppose the book gets published.  

Now the editor at the publisher lends a hand. More comments, more suggestions. More changes. The editor has a good eye for literature, for plot, and an eye to the buyer as well, in other words, the editor is the friend that will help your book sell. 

Finished?  No. 

Now comes the copyeditor who catches the mistakes in what you thought was your perfect manuscript, the one you’ve checked and rechecked.  Spelling, punctuation, font, all of the details that keep the writing flowing smoothly. She’s the one who sends it off to the printer. 

And next is the marketing person who advertises both author and book to the public through magazines, online ads, podcasts, free copies to advance readers,… and teaches the author how to help with these aspects of selling the book.. 

And then the artist who creates your cover, startling and beautiful, so it catches the eye of the reader shopping in a bookstore or online. 

And then the readers who buy the book, and the reviewers who review it. People who let you know where you succeeded, where you failed, where you need improvement. These are the people who, along with the others, help you with your next book.  

Which brings me back to the beginning and the stories I want to tell. 

Most of the day, it may seem I sit alone at my computer, but actually, my office is crowded with people, telling me their stories, letting me borrow their noses, or their anger, or their gestures — all talking at once. They’re the community I walk into each day, disappearing into my own story.   

The Elm We Cut Down Came Back

In late April, I wrote about our elm tree, a full-grown, broad-canopied tree, which before it became diseased had been a gathering place for family, friends, and a motley array of dogs, birds, deer, cats, squirrels, wild turkeys, and chickens.

Now it’s early June. The tree is gone; there’s a five-foot mountain of its wood chips under our spruce and a three-foot mound of fine-ground stump mulch by the back fence at the edge of the garden. The trunk and big limbs of the elm are jumbled in shoulder-high piles under the cherry and chestnut trees, and the tree cutter’s machinery left the yard brown and rutted. The little hillock where the wide trunk of the elm had met the ground, now spreads four, long, barren arms in the four directions, following what had been the tree’s major roots. This scattered wreckage of tree adds up to a devastated backyard, but I find it beautiful, and I feel protective, possessive of this static chaos.  

I grew up doing manual labor, farm work. After I left home, I exchanged that labor for writing and editing. This means the work of the tree is both old and new to me, and it’s given me a gift. Writer Chuck Palahniuk explains: “I’m not sure how it happens, but manual labor leaves me free for remarkable ideas to occur.”

Both the tree and I have been transformed: the tree to the useful forms of logs, chips, and mulch, and I to a woman returned to manual labor. I feel a protective sense. I want to take care of of the tree myself, to keep as much as I can of its transformed forms in our yard, or at least in our neighborhood.

Every day I shovel a few loads of the giant pile of wood chips/ mulch into the wheelbarrow and cart them to the parking strip as ground cover around the juniper bushes.  I’ve walked around the neighbors to offer wood and chips for the taking, I’ve planted drought-resistance flowers on the little hillock atop the stump and will soon plant native grasses there as well. I’ve loaded a big stump for a neighbor’s chopping block, and once the wood is cut, I’ll stack cords of it along the fence. Someday, when cold weather sets in and all my family is coming home, I’ll carry the wood to our fireplace and start a fire in anticipation of seeing people I love.

Cutting a diseased tree is a seemingly unimportant moment, but I’ve discovered this loss unfolds and enters every part of my life, like any felt loss would. This tree, once alive, thriving, and a great joy, has in its altered state, altered me. It has adjusted my sight, literally and figuratively. I can now see across the river valley; can now enjoy the giant elm of our neighbor, as if that elm I never noticed before had stepped in to offer itself for our loss. The figurative part of this new sight is that the jumbled piles of tree trunk, big limbs, and the mountain of chips and mulch have given me some of the gifts of insight that accompany labor, gifts that dovetail with my work as a writer.  

Shovel-full by shovel-full, log by log as I work, think, and take stock, I revisit hot summers baling hay; sweaty, itchy days scooping oats; the parched throat one feels after hours of cutting volunteer corn out of bean fields. In memory or in the present, I let my mind wander over my most recent book; hone in on spots in the book I want to expand; imagine new characters I want to create; and sometimes, am visited by little epiphanies.

Writer Chang-rae Lee, author of On Such a Full Sea, says: “…maybe it’s the laboring that gives you shape. Might the most fulfilling times be those spent solo at your tasks… when you are able to uncover the smallest surprises and unlikely details of some process or operation that in turn exposes your proclivities and prejudices both?”

The elm was the center of decades of stories while it was alive, stories of humans, birds, cats, dogs, wild turkeys, stories of wind and rain, snow and sun so hot trees’ leaves curled. Some of those stories became my own when I moved onto the tree’s land. Now the elm has been shattered, but it’s come back. I’m telling its stories, and thanks to the freedom labor gives me, am rejuvenated in making more of my own.

What’s in a Name?

“If I’m gonna tell a real story, I’m gonna start with my name” Kendrick Lamar

Today I picked up my work where I left off last week: on my outline for the third book in the Tuscan series. (The first in the series will be out in early September.)

My outline for the third book is almost finished, so I know the plot, but until today I
hadn’t given the new characters names. The “landlord,” the “widow,” the “farmhand” have been stuck on the page as empty titles without character.

“A name is the blueprint of the thing we call character. What’s in a name? Just about
everything we do,” said Morris Mandel.

After my work today, I understand what he meant.

I needed to do some research to discover the characters’ names. The book is set in Italy,
and in Italy, surnames can vary according to region and sometimes according to what sort of work a person does. What if the person is an immigrant? What about her name?

In order to name characters with authenticity, I needed to ask questions: What was the
basic backstory of each character? Did she come from the area about which I’m writing? Did he move into the area from elsewhere in Italy? Or in Europe? He lives in Tuscany, but was he born in Venice? Is she Sardinian? Is he an immigrant from Senegal? Did they both come from the Marche? Were the parents or grandparents tailors? Locksmiths? barons? barbers? I needed to find out.

The day turned out to be a day of meeting new people, people with names that began to yield their characters to me; it was like having a first introduction to strangers. Exchanging names we were beginning to know each other all the better. Today, my characters and I were living in the excitement of these new relationships, relationships that will be long, sometimes difficult, sometimes grief-stricken, often joyous.

These newly named people have stepped into my world, but more importantly, I’ve
stepped into theirs, and today, real people, we set off together to see what will happen.

The Stuff of Dreams

Just before I woke this morning I had a dream. I was standing at a doorway. The door opened and I had just raised my foot to step through, when I realized that with the next step I would be leaving this world and entering another world.

I thought about the dream over coffee.

Before I stepped into that black and white other world, I had turned my head to see what was behind me in the place I was leaving: people I know were doing dishes; others were going up and down the stairs; there were letters on the desk; and the smell of winter minestrone simmering on the stove permeated the air. I could feel the chill of the cold doorknob on my fingers; could hear the chatter of kids playing in the corner. The walls were covered with photos of family and friends; there were books on the shelf; and through one of the windows I caught sight of trees in full leaf, and beyond, the neighbor in her backyard. I heard echoes of arguments, a whiff of the metallic air of anger; saw the eyes of a friend shedding tears, heard the ring of a phone, noticed dirty dishes in the sink…

These were fleeting moments, small things. There were shadows, smells, the taste of fresh bread in my mouth, the sound of my sons’ laughter, the feel of dirt on my hands from working in the garden.

Sipping my coffee, I understood the dream as a moment mori in 2-second dream form.

With that glance back, I had stepped into the same river of thought as the ancient Greek philosophers Democritis and Socrates, who said that the proper practice of philosophy is about death and dying. My dream wasn’t a didactic dream, not a religious admonition to “ be good or else when you die you’ll go to hell.”

And it wasn’t a thing, graspable like other momento mori: not a 19th century mourning brooch made of human hair, not a skull ring like my friend wears, not an elegy like Thomas Gray’s Elegy Written in a Country Churchyard, or a dance like that of the Grim Reaper, or a portrait like that of the Puritan Thomas Smith with his skull in hand. It wasn’t a calavera, a skull made of sugar for the Day of the Dead, nor a literary calaveras, a satirical poem given to the living, but written as if the recipient were dead.

The dream was not significant enough to walk along with the works of Camus or Sartre, or profound enough to be an experience of Bhuddist maranasati, or serious enough to echo The Way of the Samurai or a Sufi’s profound understanding.

It was just a little dream.  I decided the significant part of it was the details: 

 Each element of my life filled the room, although the room was not full or crowded; there was no threat, just details of life.  My little 2-second dream, my early morning momento mori, was simply a reminder that the big part of my life, as a woman and as a writer, is contained in a mass of the smallest of details. As I gather these details I find out who I am, and in the details of my books, I find out who my character are. This is what a moment-mori is good for. If I can remember that death is just one step away, the details around me will burst into the lush color, motion, and forms of life.